Monday, November 18, 2013

I WILL PUT OUT FOR MONEY.

I have never asked you for anything. I have poured time and energy into this blog to entertain you and to give you the feels when I'm feeling feely. Let's be honest, this blog is half "I love my family" and half "I feel like being an asshole today" and maybe half "self-deprecation is funny, right?!" and probably two-thirds "I am whiny and sentimental." Man, math is not my strong point. Thank god I word good. Anyway, all of that has a place, but today I'm taking Filthy Nerdy on a little detour; let's get philanthropic in this bitch!

I'm not going to get all Sarah McLachlan on you. Here's the SparkNotes to the tragedy in my life: Logan Larrabee is 3 years old. He was very recently diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. He's currently undergoing chemo and is looking at a bone marrow transplant. He has three brothers. His parents are friends of mine and really, really good people. I realize that the holidays are coming up and something about a recession and I'm sure you're still pissed about Obamacare but this family could really use some financial support. When I last spoke to Jim, Logan's dad, he told me about this fundraising campaign that a family friend started to help with hospital bills and expenses since both parents are missing work to deal with this awfulness and insurance won't cover everything. Jim said it perfectly: "I hate asking or being pushy, and I guess all of my pride is going to completely disappear, but it ain't about me anymore."     

Guys, seriously. I would really appreciate it if you could CLICK HERE and give whatever you can, if you can. I realize that it may be rude to disappear for months and pop up to ask you for a favor, but that's exactly what's happening. I've been fine, if you're wondering. I've stayed out of jail and mostly out of trouble. I still pay my taxes and drink on Mondays. I went to Dallas, I was a dinosaur princess for Halloween, I fell in love, I went fishing twice. See, I'm fine. I got a really wonderful email from a reader saying nice things about this blog and how I should write more because I'm entertaining. Well, I'm about to make your dreams come true, Ryan, (and the rest of you who might have missed me) but it will come at a price. 


When you donate any amount of US dollars to Love for the Larrabees, I will write for you. I will give you 1,000ish words on your topic of choice, and I promise not to shy away from anything. Want me to write about my most embarrassing moment? Cool, I will, go donate. Want to hear my thoughts on the Cuban Missile Crisis or how much I fucking hate birthday cake? I'll write it. I'll write about whatever. I'll write sappy things or sassy things or silly things. I'll write about you if you want. I'll write you a goddamn sonnet if you help my friends out. If you can't donate, don't worry, I am not going to hunt you down in the night. I will hopefully be too busy writing You-Call-It blogs for all the people who did donate. But you can still help by posting the link around your social media. Facebook it, tweet it, pin it, tumblr it, fuck, put it on your LinkedIn. It really can make a difference. 

Recap:
1. Cancer fucking blows.
2. My friend's kid has cancer.
3. You can help by opening your heart and your wallet and DONATING HERE.
4. When you donate I will post a blog on a topic of your choosing.
5. If you can't donate dollars, please consider sharing the link. The more people who see it, the better.

I realize that this arrangement makes me kind of a whore, and I am surprisingly comfortable with that. I'll throw out of a couple of blogjobs if it helps Logan. I have realized - truthfully and not tragically - that writing is one of the few things I truly have to offer.

Reasons to Donate: 
1. Cancer fucking blows. 
2. You know the family like I do and you want to help. 
3. You don't know them but you know me and want to help. 
4. You don't know me either but you like my blog and want to help. 
5. You are not a heartless asshole. 
6. I will write 1,000 words of whatever you want, however you want it. (Don't think I won't write about public pooping in the style of Ernest Hemingway.) 
7. Please?

I really do appreciate any support you guys can give, and any contribution really will help the Larrabees out tremendously. 

If you are interested in learning more about Logan's story and the Larrabee's journey through childhood cancer, you can like the Prayers for Logan page on Facebook. 

And really, thank you. 


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